Wednesday, 23 January 2013

The tale of CAMRA'S white window envelope!

Picture the scene. The thud on the hallway floor, as the morning post is delivered(sorry, daily post now).Hmmm.... You hope it's not a brown envelope. As  that usually means it's from the Inland Revenue, or the DWP!

You walk down the hallway, no brown envelope thank God. It's white, it's bulky and it's from CAMRA.

Weh, hey, of course,  it's my twenty quids worth of JD Wetherspoon Real Ale vouchers. Not forgetting, my new, still rather dour coloured, grey membership card.

Have to say, what a feckin bargain! A purple note of the realm to CAMRA each year, in exchange for the same value in vouchers. Also, an excellent monthly newspaper and a superbly produced 'Beer' magazine, issued quarterly.

Oh, and do not forget, the standard phrase at every beer festival: ''I am a card carrying member of CAMRA''. Where you will get a discount. And in some cases, free entry to ALL sessions......It's a winner!

The discount vouchers will be spread over many a table, or firm surface. Scissors at the ready, as we carefully cut down the faint, non perforated line.

My eyes are so bad, I usually struggle, in my excitement, to tear down the dotted line. Careful mind, don't get your months mixed up!

Now we then hunt down a 'Spoons' or a Lloyds No.1 Bar(Cant find a key that puts a circle around the 'No.1') Yes, 50p discount off Real Ale. Don't forget to take your grey membership card. Valid for CAMRA  members only.

 And always remember, one voucher per person, per visit. :-)

You will see the eager member at the bar: Is it in his/her pocket. No, maybe it's in the wallet. They look everywhere, in their eagerness.

Which one are you? The well organised, rather patronising member, perhaps? Who places the voucher on the bar, and moves it to the right, then the left, with the index finger.

Maybe, like me, the 'a little disorganised' member. It's always eventually located, as we politely inform the staff member, that we have a voucher to submit for a 50p discount.       
 Some members chuck 'em in the bin! It's their protest against Wetherspoons. I suppose you have to respect that view, to a degree. 

Let's face it,'Spoons' don't actually help the survival of the geezer in the 'tied house' across the road, having to sell his ale at a quid dearer! ''Sorry boss, no discount schemes here. But you can buy two 'warm Tahiti colours' for a quid, in the gents!''

Aye, the rustling of the CAMRA, white window envelope. Don't we just love its entry, via our letter boxes. The anticipation, the fumbling with the scissors, along the dotted line!

An annual custom. Ritual even! An event to behold.

 Go forth and redeem your vouchers dear members....Only one per visit mind!